I bought a 2007 S600 biturbo for $4500

For those of you who haven't read my introductory post, here it is, but to sum it up: I'm an idiot who owns a revolving fleet of several cheap old luxury cars, regularly facing financial ruin keeping them running.

I've always been a fan of this idea frequently posted by Tavarish. For the price of a soulless new econobox, you could buy this heavily depreciated luxury super saloon. This particular column LINK  describes a V12 bi-turbo Mercedes S65 AMG with 100,000 miles for $20,000. Forget that with as much tech as the space shuttle, you're playing warning light roulette with every turn of the key. Any rational thought goes out the window with one stat: 737 foot pounds of torque. Very few cars can top 737 torques, and they don't include any Ferrari or Lamborghini. To think a car only bested by a Veyron or  Koenigsegg can be bought for less than a new Corolla is lunacy. While it's a fun idea, you rarely see anyone brave or stupid enough to actually try it out. This is where my bravery and stupidity comes in. 

Several months back, I decided I needed a V12 in my life. Mercedes has always been my favorite marque and I lusted for the Boeing jumbo jet level or torque.  I dismissed the 220 chassis S-Class (2000-2006) because of the underwhelming styling, cheap looking interior and horrific quality. Due to poor paint bonding, the 220 S-class is just as susceptible to rust as the Yugo. Mercedes dealer technicians are often left scratching their heads when diagnosing the hilariously named ABC hydraulic suspension. I could go on, but Tavarish covered it pretty well here with his daily driver. (Here's Everthing that's wrong with my $3000 Daily Driven S-Class)

Tavarish's Masterpiece

The next generation S class (221 chassis) solved these issues by refining the suspension, upped quality control, and a sexy design with fat wheel arches. Those were out of my budget. That's why I decided to go old school, the 140 S-class, which ceased production in 1999. Despite the older V12s not having twin turbos or ridiculous torque figures, they still had great power, and behind the wheel you look like a very important fascist dictator. The problem was finding one. 

I tend to believe people are inherently good, but become supervillains when trying to sell an old European car. Suddenly they lose their memories of the numerous leaks creating an abstract painting on their garage floor and their dog eats the 5 figure repair estimate they were given after their last regular service. They will do anything to desperately pass their turd on to someone else. You're only weapon against this is a pre-purchase inspection. Often threatening one is enough for the truth to come out. You find out the reason it's only driven to church on Sundays is because it doesn't start the other 6 days of the week.

With low production numbers, advancing age and neglectful owners, finding a nice example of a late 90's S600 was proving impossible. Then I stumbled upon a Christmas miracle.

"2007 S600, 149,XXX miles, $10,000 OBO. Car got hot and died now it cranks but wont start. I started taking apart to run compression but don't have the time. Car is in great shape with pano roof." 

Wow, I thought, a cheap bi-turbo V12 and it was only a few hours away from me! I look up the cost of a used motor and I overheated myself. $6000-$8000. Yup, you could get a beater Honda S2000 for the same price as a motor. At the asking price and used motor cost, you would invest $20,000 in a car worth $15,000 finished. 

Because I was curious an idiot, I started chatting with the seller anyway.  It was his father's long distance commuter car, explaining the high mileage. It started leaking coolant and his son decided patching the radiator on a Mercedes with a new MSRP of $140,000 was a good idea. This failed catastrophically and boat anchored the 505HP V12. After getting a laugh out loud ridiculous quote to fix the car, the owner decided to go for a new S-class and left his son the task of selling the lump.

I started the negotiations by doing the math I mentioned previously with his asking price. He replied being "very open to offers", but stated the panoramic roof assemblies are selling for $3000 and door skins for $400 a piece. He was aware of the significant parts value . I decided to offer a little above the two parts he quoted.... $4000. Worst he could say is no, right? He countered at $5000! Thank goodness this conversation was over email because there was no keeping a poker face at that price. Because of my years of experience negotiating in the car business I'm an asshole, I went for an extra $500 off, and he quickly agreed. I wasted no time borrowing my buddy's trailer and trekking to Grove, Oklahoma to grab it.

Loading the car was interesting. The car has a tiny electronic column mounted shifter, with no way to engage neutral without battery power. The battery still had some juice, but was weak from sitting for a month. Every time it started to go flat, the shifter defaulted to park and engaged the brakes. I didn't know this information until I attempted to load the S600 with the winch. To my amazement the S600 did its best impression of a stubborn mule, not budging as the 2,000 pound trailer and my 6,000 pound truck started dragging backward.

Eventually I got it loaded and made the 200 mile trip home, with my nose heavy load testing the maximum towing capacity of my 2015 GMC Sierra. It felt like I was towing the space shuttle, especially on braking. My friend, who I borrowed the trailer from, informed me after the fact that the trailer brakes weren't functional...

So just in time for Christmas, I was left with the most beautiful lawn ornament anyone has ever seen. Stay tuned for my next S600 installment, describing the process of assessing the car, getting it back on the road, and living the Jalopnik wet dream of owning a luxury V12 Supersaloon on an Econobox budget.